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Today let's talk about some things I do to (A) keep myself more regulated when my kid is not and (B) some ways I’m supporting him in learning to listen to his body, understand emotions, and ultimately add regulation skills to his own toolbox that he can utilize for the rest of his life. Whether you’re a teacher, caretaker, parent or ever plan to be, a lot of what I’m going to talk about today may still be really helpful for you. Many of these same concepts applied when I was learning to reparent myself to become a more self-regulated adult in ways I didn’t learn to be in my own childhood. Hit play to learn more!
✨ 3 Takeaways from this episode:
Kids are dependent on you for regulation. Your healing, your regulated nervous system is the greatest gift you can give them.
This one I didn’t explicitly say but was there between the lines and I wanted to clarify it here. You cannot reason with your kid until you’re both calm. Like the process I shared that we go through when I take my son into his room to regulate together. Step 1 = regulate. Step 2 = Reason. The logical part of their brain is completely offline when emotions are high.
Practicing coping skills when you’re calm is the key to having access to those coping skills when you’re not. Not only does the consistent practice of them support more overall regulation but it creates familiarity in your (and their) system. It literally builds neural pathways in the brain - the more often you practice it the more well worn those pathways become and the more of a viable option that tools seems as something helpful in moments of dysregulation. Self-regulation is a skill, one they are learning from you.
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EPISODE 14